The Entertainer

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Fellow workboothers or workboothists, (whichever makes you happy) it is with great pleasure I welcome you to the famous 2020. I hope you guys enjoyed the holiday. Where are my detty December folks? The ones who had fun celebrating in every corner. Well, Let me quickly tell y’all that mine was a sparkling December. It employed LAWMA without my consent and I don’t know who paid, so believe me a hundred and ten percent when I say ‘Not a single dirt’. Not even cobweb or dust o. I really don’t know who I offended. I only heard gist and saw clips of other people’s detty December. 

Anyway, welcome to 2020, your dream year. I pray it turns out to be a year of solid achievements, better than 2019 which I feel was elastic. Is it just me or you feel the same way too? 2019 looked like it had 465 days. I was wondering if extra time was added like a football match. Maybe we were not conscious of the half time break between June and July. Shall we call that Junely? I guess the oversized months affected December and the festivities. I didn’t even remember to wish anyone Merry Christmas. I only returned the wishes back to the senders. A friend of mine even said he wasn’t ready. That Christmas came suddenly like it was a new date. Oga, shift. You didn’t prepare, nothing sudden. But he survived. Good thing it’s all throwback now. Let’s do new year talk, shall we? Ok, Here we go!

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First of all, if you’re one of those who called 2019 the end of the decade, raise your hand, your favourite hand precisely, higher! Higher! Now knock yourself on the head. Good. What grade did you make in mathematics? Haba! How hard can it be to figure out? If 2010 was the end of the last decade and 2011 started this decade, how is 2019 the end of this one? Did rat eat the decade? Answer me, please. Or did the economy affect the days of the year? Let’s be guided. 2020 is the end of this decade and the best we can do is end it on a high. Please, guys, don’t angry me.

Secondly, If you are a proponent of this “year is your year”, can you wave your hands, please? Faster! Faster!! Is that the fastest you can go? Now slap yourself at the peak of the wave. Nonsense! I’m coming back to you all. In fact, let’s thrash this right here now. What happened to other years? Okay, I get it. I’ll let it slide if only you can list the previous years and their owners. ‘This year is your year’ has been the reason your dreams and aspirations have remained intact and fresh. No implementation, no expansion. You have become a senior maintenance engineer for your status quo. 

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See ehn, no year is your year and every year is your year. It’s up to you to decide, dream, plan, and act. Oh boy! See as I dey sound like an intellectual motivational speaker toh badt.

Now, where are my Resolutionists? Awon #newyearnewme gang, lol. . . You need old beating. Who said I’m violent this year? Yeah right. That’s my new year new me. There is something I learnt in 2019, and that is Time intelligence; the ability to spend, earn, convert, save and invest time in the same context as money. In other words, the ability to equate every second to every kobo or cent you spend or earn. And that’s why this year had better be action-packed for you and I. If you go through your old diaries, you’ll discover that you’re a genius at releasing new year resolutions every December yet they don’t see the light of the first week of January.

In essence guys, all I’m saying is, you have to be more proactive, goal-oriented and purpose-driven. Chai! Omo, even me sef dey feel myself. No lie, you no dey feel me? See as my 2020 flows dey wavy like say na ocean, see as he dope like dopamine inside love potion, and God go back am up with dope money. (I am not planning to sell crack o, all amma do is crack people up). Anyway back to the crux of the matter, let this 2020 make sense for you beyond resolutions, prophecies, and quotes. With these few points of mine, I hope I’ve been able to convince you that 2020 is your year!

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Wait o! Me the chief adviser, what is my 2020 going to be like?! And I’m here ranting and forming mentor. 2020 will be great for me. And you’ll be a part of it. This year, bad energy, stay far away, no negativity, no doubts, I can and I will. I’m not just going to host people’s events, I’m going to host mine. I’m going to celebrate personal milestones and achievements. I actually look forward to an amazing year with you guys. Did I say 2020 is your year? It’s my year o. In fact, it’s our year. Since we are in this 2020 together, whenever you need a part of mine, I will be happy to share.

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